Barton Should Be Treated Like Violent Fans
Newcastle's decision not to sack Joey Barton is disgraceful but, given the complete lack of ethics in modern football, hardly surprising. I can't think of any other industry in which an employee could viciously assault a colleague, and not only keep their job but also get a lucrative move to a competitor. It stinks to high heaven.
But here's a suggestion to help redress the ethical balance, for English football to regain some sorely-needed karma. Football fans found guilty of assault regularly receive life bans from football grounds, so why not apply the same rule to Barton? Clubs up and down the country should simply refuse this odious little thug admission to their stadia when Newcastle come to town, thus sending out a signal that beating up one's fellow professionals is not acceptable. Let's face it, it'd hardly mean robbing the fans of entertainment would it.
After a glorious Euro 2008, free of unpleasant Englishmen (both on and off the pitch), it's a shame that this prick is back in the headlines, so let's treat him with the contempt he deserves and see clubs add him to the same persona non gratis list as misbehaving supporters.
Yours, in Cloudcuckooland probably...
Tim Russell, Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam
Predicting Joey's Future...
Let me start thing's off as aTtoon fan by saying nobody likes Joey Barton much at the moment. Having watched the CCTV footage from youtube I, like every other human being with a conscience, think his actions were despicable. I think punching Dabo was wrong (although possibly I still consider the Frenchman a bit of a Jessie for sticking sellotape over his eye and taking a picture), but right here and now I am going to make a prediction.
Firstly that he won't get sacked. He refused to take a wage cut and in its place will be a rather large club fine I'll bet, but he won't get the sack. Why not? Why does this alleged professional athlete who eats at Mickey D's deserve in one week what a consultant neurosurgeon will earn in a year? Because the club paid a lot of money for him and don't want someone else getting him for free.
Secondly, he will come back and behave himself for around six months. Off the drink, and a bit fitter he will probably become one of those 'fringe' players the tabloids love so they've something to write about in an otherwise boring training week before an otherwise boring friendly were England struggle against Equador. Newcastle fans will all pat themselves on the back and say "weren't we right to stand by him" even though we all hated him and blamed him for making us a laughing stock..OK...maintaining us as a laughing stock.
Then he will say something like 'rich footballers don't know they're living' and we'll all say "good ol' Joey, he's salt of the earth like us. So what if he was in a scrap. Aren't the press arseholes". He'll release a book about his hard life and the summer break he had at Walton (Obviously written by his own fair hands). Shortly after he will begin to believe his own hype and hit a pensioner with a halibut/eat a puppy/flame grill a team mate's genitals or something else equally as loathsome. We'll all say "he's a bag egg, rotten to the core I say" (Cos all geordies are 1940's RAF pilots), and Newcastle will sell him for a load of money to some idiot. (Prozone says there is a 68.3% chance Allardyce will be back in work at that stage.) Then it will be their problem. My money is on Blackburn.
Michael J McGowan (Does that J make me look smart?)
E-Mail Entitled 'Diamond-Studded Dildos'
Enough is enough. If today's gossip rags are to be believed (I know, I know...), what a despicable and ungrateful little pr*ck Adebayor has turned out to be! Any form of blackmail is detestable, but this 'I want as much as Henry had or I'm off' lunacy really takes the biscuit.
Why you are not being paid as much as Henry? I'll tell you why, Boy;
a) you are not (half) as good as Henry - and will never be anywhere close, I'll wager.
b) you have only been in the club for a couple of years (as opposed to Henry's eight).
c) you only have one good season behind you.
d) you only recently got a (very good) pay rise.
e) you have just been offered another (very good) pay rise.
What is wrong with you?! OK, I can appreciate that 60 grand per week will never be the same as 120 grand per week, but for crying out effing loud - it's still more money than most of us will see in several lifetimes. How many cars/houses/diamond studded dildos do you actually need?? If you have half a brain cell you might, one day, realise that you would have had far greater satisfaction from being a hero at the club you are at, worshipped and idolised by the fans, than just another über-rich, but despised, name on a team sheet (stand up Cash£ey Hole/and Ane$ka as the prime examples you are).
Your wages will even increase in time - almost certainly. In the meantime chill out and enjoy the luxurious life you live. You will do well to remember that a salary, like respect, has to be earned. As far as I'm concerned, at the moment you deserve neither.
Who made you what you are today? Eh? Show some gratitude, you thankless git. One good season and you think you are en par with one of the greatest strikers to grace the Premiership? You're having a laugh! Now off you go to Madrid, Barcelona or wherever. Good riddance.
Thank goodness I've got that off my chest.
Nic 'Adebayor for President. In Zimbabwe.' G-E, Singapore Gooner
Don't Buy Medicore, Rafa...
Why oh why are Liverpool still chasing G Barry? 15 million for him? Seriously??
Rafa (who by the way is still the man despite not winning a damn thing AGAIN) is so persistent in his hunt for Barry that he doesn't realise that if he (like he should) get rid of random nimrods like Voronin (apparently there are those who WANT to PAY MONEY for him - I dont get it either), Pennant, Crouchie and Benayoun, he can sign BOTH D. Villa as well as D. Silva. Good thing about being Spain's official representers in the EPL is that we (LFC - yes I'm a Liverpool supporter) can sign all these Spanish stars without having to pay them yearly salaries that are more than the entire Arsenal squad earn a year. (Chelsea - yeah I'm looking at you).
Coupled this with the fact that both these two players love Rafa and won titles with him in Valencia and factor in that valencia need about 40 sumthin mil to pay off some loans. This should be enough for Rafa to go 'hey if I sell these guys here plus the money I have already plus maybe 7 mil more from the Americans, I can get two players that will definitely help us win the league'
I'm not saying that Rafa is sh*t but the guy should prioritise awesome players ahead of mediocre players esp if the difference between them is about 5M quid. (not that I have that kinda money lying around)
Navvir Singh (this is our year....or maybe next year) Pasricha
The Mandatory 'He Was Never Any Good Anyway' Mail
In response to K. Moreton, Merseyside - the '10 long years of great service' you describe isn't actually all that great. The last two seasons he has been phenomenal, the bedrock of the team. However if you go back more than three or four seasons he really was distinctly average (along with the the rest of the team), and it was no coincidence that he wasn't in the England squad or the subject of long and boring transfer sagas. I really don't think you can say it's a coincidence that Barry has established himself in the England team and earned the plaudits that he has in the last few seasons - Martin O'Neill has without question brought the best out of him.
I, along with most Villa fans, initially wanted him to stay. However after he announced he wanted to leave, then fair enough - he is at the stage of his career where he probably won't get this chance again. After that it just seemed to be a question of waiting for the right money from Liverpool - after all, if they are looking to improve their midfield, then they can't expect to pay less for Barry than they are selling Alonso for, so surely a fee of at least £15 million is reasonable. But then, for Barry to come out with all this crap on Sunday and say Benitez has shown how much he values him is blatantly false - Benitez is saying he is worth less money than O'Neill is. He has always had a good rapport with the Villa fans, but to say he wants Champions League football and then in the next sentence say Villa haven't offered him anything to stay is not only lying (according to MON and the Villa board, who I trust infinitely more than GB) but contradictory - surely short of us magically appearing in the 'Champions' League there is nothing we could offer? He has lost any respect the Villa fans (and judging by the general reaction, football fans in general) had for him by resorting to the unprofessional tactic of crying to the papers about nasty Mr O'Neill. Maybe he does belong with LFC after all.
If I was Gareth Barry I may well look around at the signings Villa have made and question the club's ambition - but I would look more closely at the childish, unprofessional manager and the Mickey Mouse chairmen that run the 'club' where he sees his future.
Mike Mackay, AVFC
PS. Before anyone says, I am aware that MON has done his fair share in the slanging match with Benitez, but seeing as Benitez brought in the press what was MON supposed to do??
England: Only Just Better Than Scotland
England are one place ahead of Scotland in the FIFA world rankings.
Oh. My. God. I didn't realise how crap we are.
Nothing more to say.
Dan Toomey, MCFC
Rubbish, Rubbish Chelsea...
Upon reading Benji Sua Kay's email about Chelski's good signings it struck me that the first three of those signings were actually scouted or courted by Man United, let's revise the good signings again - Robben, Essien and Obi Mikel were all scouted by the Mancs.
Then we get to Mourinho's fledglings, the likes of Carvalho and Ferreira who served him so well at Porto. We'll have to discount them as well.
I have to disagree with him about Tiago, who wasn't really a successful sigining cos he's now getting regular first-team action but can't even break into the Portuguese first team.
Ballack and Makelele already proved themselves to be classy players both at Champions League and International levels before coming to the Bridge so we have to discount them as well.
This leaves us with just Joe Cole, Drogba, Duff, Cech and Kalou, five players who were unearthed by Chelski, five out of how many signings again????
I haven't included Alex for the man has yet to prove his worth. I think Chelski should clear out most of the scouting backroom staff, it's clear as daylight they are nowhere as good as they should be but then again the managers, owner and coaches also come into the equation. I think that Chelski's administration have been a nightmare to begin with.
Fareed Mahomed, Durban, SA
Coming Late And Blossoming...
After the article on Deco coming to Chelski, it got me thinking about players who 'came late and blossomed' in the Premier League include:
Klinsmann (who came twice and did pretty well for Spurs) - World Cup, European Cup (national and club side) winner, Serie A, Bundesliga and variety of national cups...
Ginola - Five-year career with Newcastle and Spurs playing some of the most exciting football of the 90's.
Roberto Di Matteo - won one or two things with Chelsea...
Frank 'I won the World Cup, y'know' Leboeuf - ditto.
Paolo Di Canio - maybe not winning an awful lot, but he certainly played with a lot of passion/adapted well.
While there have been a lot of flops as well, how many of our elder players have gone abroad and done well recently? David Beckham did well with Madrid, Ince did okay with Inter Milan. Maybe this should be a call to the Neviller to get out there and raise the fortunes of a Helsingborgs, Wolfsburg or Rennes...it would save us from his attempts at growing facial hair at least.
Rich 'succeeding quite nicely thank you, in a new league on the other side of the globe (HMP Australia)', THFC, exiled in Adelaide
Actually, Mad Jens Not So Mad
In an otherwise sound Referee365 column, Rob McNichol writes that 'presumably he (Lehmann) is talking about the 2006 Champions League final, when he chopped down Samuel Eto'o who was clean through on goal. The only controversy about the decision that night was the fact that Barcelona were denied a goal, not that Mad Jens got his marching orders.'
Whilst Rob is not wrong in the assessment that Barcelona were denied a goal - he ignores the fact that if the goal had stood, Lehmann would have stayed on the pitch, as his challenge would then not have been preventing a clear goalscoring opportunity.
So goal should have stood, but then Lehmann should have stayed on the pitch. So, in a roundabout way, Mad Jens is actually spot on...
Michael Cox
A Blatant Plug
Your 'England at the Euros' article is the funniest ever read, anywhere; ever. Period. Your footballing jargon and knowledge comes to the fore. And the Special Keegan, Fat Sam and Reidy on the drink, and Steve McClaren sections...Goodness you guys have left us breathless and aching with unabated laughter.
So can you guys please provide links of the satire in entirety, i.e. from June 4 onwards...
Ankit A. Pande
(They're all there right now for your reading pleasure - Mailbox Compiler))
