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Dessie Has Touched A Nerve
Yeah Dessie, Belfast, Chelsea haven't won anything or reached any finals for donkeys years have they?
Anthony Burns
...I'm guessing that Dessie from Belfast is fishing with his 'no class' Man Utd dig. Well I'll bite.
From his witty (yeah, right) diatribe, I deduce that he is a fan of the team whose fans mugged each other for UCL tickets, whose captain is currently charged with affray and whose fans got the rest of the country banned from European Competitions for a number of years.
So, no class you say? D***head. People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
Paul Milton, Man Utd
...Does this mean Barcelona fans spend their days on the d-olé and boring people to death by talking about their brilliant sense of humour?
Neil Raines
...Dessie, Belfast ,there are two small problems with your Liverpool Barcelona comparison.
1) Barcelona have won their league in the last 18 years.
2) Barcelona are generally quite exciting and entertaining for the neutrals to watch.
I'm sure there are many others.
Maybe Liverpool is a bit more like Notts Forest? Have been good in Europe, not won the top domestic honours for a very long time.
JT, AFC, N4
...I hate Chelsea as much as the next sane individual, but I've got to question Dessie's suggestion that they haven't achieved anything substantial for a while. Since when does five consecutive top two finishes, including back to back league titles, an FA Cup, two League Cups, and a Champions' League final constitute underachievement?
And I don't want to p**s on his chips too much (actually...), but Liverpool are as akin to Barcelona as turkey twizzlers are to foie gras. If anything they're Valencia: from a region with a strong identity - check; Spanish manager - check, Spanish players - check; as dull as dishwater - check; a few European finals and domestic cups to keep up the illusion that they are one of the big boys - check; rife with boardroom squabbles - check; enjoying a successful season despite the increasing risk that they're up debt creak without a paddle - check. If someone could confirm that Valencia's fans are a bunch of delusional idiots and the players' houses keep getting robbed on match days (probably by Levante fans) that would be ace.
Oh, and finally, Alan Smith is not only utter s**te, he's a nasty f**ker with it, had the worst hair in the league for years and has the blue lips and sallow complexion of a cadaver. Hence, any club mistreating him gets my vote.
William O'Doherty
...Dessie, Belfast (Mailbox, 9/1/09) - "Real Madrid want to change the rules on players playing in the Champions League", which makes them Man Utd? Surely they're more akin to the team who, not so very long ago, cried and stamped their feet and cried some more until they were let into the Champions League despite only finishing 5th in the Premiership?? "A massive club, lots of history, completely arrogant, but no class" - sounds like Liverpool to me.
Keith, Glasgow
A Couple Of Responses
Just a couple of responses to the scousers that wrote in the mailbox this morning, If I may:
Firstly, Dessie, Belfast surely Arsenal are Ajax, they have a brilliant youth system (or more like an adoption agency), they play exciting sexy football and havent won anything for ages plus they always have their top player nicked by bigger clubs (I guess we wont do the Champions League comparison here as it kind of ruins the argument). Livcerpool like Barca? Pah. Liverpool are certainly more like Benfica, great history in Europe and have had their name in lights this season but are about to be usurped by the Champions - sorry lads you know its coming.
Vinnie 'V-So-Hornie' Pinnie, you my friend just sound like a nervous scouser, and there seems to be more and more of them just now as they begin to get dizzy at the top. Anyone paying attention will have heard Sir Red Nose say that as long as the team is within touching distance at the turn of the year he would be quite happy, or something like that, because traditionally United are stronger in the second half of the season and I would say potentially one point behind the league leaders is touching distance.
Finally and on a lighter note, Anthony surely the ugliest player to grace the Premier League is Luke Chadwick. Legend has it he once bumped into Martin Keown in the Old Trafford dug out and pretty Martin burst out laughing* - Come to think about it Peter Crouch could well be Luke's older less teethy cousin.
Yerox, Bolton - *story randomly made up
How Did That Go?
Nick from Tasmania;
Yes, imagine Man Utd having to change their formation to accommodate Rooney & Tevez. It'd never work "as they are both hard working running players". Proof indeed.
In other news, does anyone know who won the League and Champions League last season?
Alex, LFC
Like Ten Thousand Spoons...
Vinnie Pinnie's mail was the most ironic mail I've ever read on this website, it has to be said. I bet he felt so clever criticising Michael Carricks comments that Utd would have taken this position at the start of the season but not entitrely seeing the point being made himself. I bet he thought he'd struck gold and that we'd all laugh with mirth at the ironic joke he was making, but my question is this; How can you criticise someones outlook on something when you don't fully understand what it is they are saying in the first place? It's like laughing with people and then finding out that they are all laughing at you and you're laughing along because you're too daft to realise. Let's look at what Carrick was most likely referring to, shall we? ie,. the position that we'd have accepted:
At the start of this year we are 1) World Champions. 2) Still in the CL having qualified top of our group. 3) Still in the Carling Cup with the seond leg of the semi-final still to come at Old Trafford against Derby County who are 18th in the CCC. 4) In the FA Cup by default 5) In the running in the title race with 2 games in hand over the leaders AND having played, by some distance, the hardest set of fixtures that any of the other top 4 have had to play seeing as we've played every top 10 team away from home already and have all of the top 4 at Old Trafford to come.
So, the point being made is easy to see, and it's this; the European Super Cup aside, we're still in a great position to win EVERY competition we have entered this year. Our team still isn't playing at full tilt and other sides, such as Arsenal and Chelsea in particular, are showing worrying flaws which suggest they may well defeat themselves before we get a chance to. Quite how that is not a position that we would have taken at the start of the season I don't know. I'm assuming that Vinnie is a Liverpool fan given the nature of his mail and, in signing off, I'll leave him with this: Not a single Utd fan I know is concerned about Liverpool this year so, on that bombshell, yes, we do consider ourselves to be in a very strong position. Word to the wise Vinnie: try and show a little humility before opening your mouth. There you go son.
Harry - Manchester
Boyd: Not S**t
I feel compelled to add my tuppence-worth to the Kris Boyd issue in light of the thoroughly insightful and in no way narrow-minded email from Cian, Bray Wanderers, Dublin.
Why bother writing in about an issue that you know nothing about? If he's "probably sh***" then you obviously don't know for sure, so don't waste your time commenting. Leave the mailbox for people with interesting points and/or a bit of humour.
Boyd isn't sh*t. He has a great record in the SPL and a better than average record for Scotland. Together with Kenny Miller (no composure, but great workhorse) they have formed the best partnership for Rangers since McCoist and Hately. He's untested in England but as the F365 article suggested, he'd more than likely do a decent job for a mid-tier premier league side.
As for the SPL being sh*t, cant argue with that, but.....just because the league as a whole is cack doesn't mean that players exported from it are as bad. The prime example would be Henrik Larsson - awesome for Celtic, and equally impressive for Barca and Utd. Other players who have spent a decent amount of time in Scotland before making a good go of it down in England recently include Van Bronkhorst, Tugay, Duncan Ferguson and James McFadden.
The standard of the majority of SPL games between the lower teams is poor at best, but players from Rangers and Celtic experience far more pressure, bigger crowds and more European games than the majority of the English Premier League clubs.
Gary, Scotch in Dublin
Memories
Oh dear, Michael Clifford. How old are you??? Do you not remember football from the late 80's and early 90's???
He said "He's a striker in the Ally McCoist/Gary Lineker mould, patently unsuited to playing up front on his own."
If I'm not very much mistaken Mr Lineker scored a s**t load of goals for England playing upfront on his own and supported by a deep lying player called... Peter Beardsley. Lineker was at his best for England when supported by him and 2 wide men.
Tim (Quazimodo is handsome compared to Beardsley) Collins
Were You Doing Any Work Today Tim?
I'm going to try and get in there early before all the West Ham hoards write in to castigate Gordon (probably be better than Townsend et al) Clark.
I had absolutely no time for Julian Dicks when he was a player, but there is one thing for certain. He didn't "squeeze out a professional career out of kicking people while looking both tough and over-weight" as Gordon suggests...
The lad could most definitely play. Of course he was a dirty b****rd and would quite happily scrap with anyone, but he had an absolute wand of a left foot and was one of the best fullbacks around. The only things stopping him from forging an international career were his dodgy knees and Stuart Pearce above him in the pecking order.
He was a constant thorn in United's side too, but credit where it is due!
I have absolutely no doubt that West ham fans and even Liverpool fans will agree with me!
Tim (feeling very, very dirty after that) Collins
This Chap Must Be A Hoot At Parties
In answer to Lawrence in the U.S.A he is probably either insured with AIG Private Clients (AIG sponsor Man Ure) or with another specialist Private Client insurer.
These companies only insure wealthy individuals. Baring in mind he probably has a fleet of high performance cars and a large home with high value contents he would actually get a good deal.
In my opinion (I use these companies in my job) he probable pays around £8k for the car insurance for the Ferrari per year. If he is paying more than that he should give me a call.
Sam, Woking
Good Point
The entertainingly-named Lawrence Knops wonders how much it costs to insure a Ferrari as a professional footballer. I think more to the point, what does it cost a 23-year old professional footballer to insure his Ferrari when he's just written off his old one?
Paul F, LFC
Moaning Incey
What is it with new managers of football clubs, that makes them think they have a god given right to go into a club, completely change the way a team is playing, and expect everyone to back them when the changes they make are not succesful ? Its pure ego to suggest they have the right to go into a club, make changes and then demand 'time' to prove themselves when it goes wrong. If you or I got a new management job at work, completely changed the way your staff worked,and they performed badly as a result you would be sacked. Why did Paul Ince have to make so many changes at Blackburn, over and above those he was forced to deal with (Friedel and Bentley leaving, injuries) ?
Managers......take a big reality check please, you dont have to make big changes when you join a new club, its a bad habit. How about a new years resolution for moaning managers, 'build on success, dont dismantle it'.
Steve Loughlin
Swap Smithy For Two Younger Models
Maybe Alan Smith's biggest fanshould look at the facts before slagging off a club and supposed transfer dealings mentioned in a couple of probably inaccurate tabloid tales.
I've always been a big fan of Alan Smith's, in fact I was delighted when we signed him as I always thought he could turn into an excellent replacement for Shearer - hard working, not afraid to put himself about and more than capable of scoring some excellent goals (although admittedly, not as often). Roll on almost 2 seasons though and it's all gone horribly wrong for Smithy, and the club in general.
However, the reason I would think Newcastle want rid of Smith now, is not for the transfer funds it would create (we won't get anything close to what we paid for him) but for the wages we'd be saving. For a footballer apparently earning £60,000 a week, I'd certainly hope they were capable of a lot more than "doing a good job for someone". In fact, for a striker, I'd expect them to have at least scored a goal in the last 18 months. We could get two younger players in positions we're weakest in for the wages we're paying Alan Smith.
Keegan may be spineless, but at least he came out and said he'd play Smith up front in his best position - he did so on more than one occasion, and he still couldn't score for toffee.
Anyway, if we're starting the blame game, then I'd suggest you look towards Sir Alex Ferguson for this one though - he's the one who started playing Smith in defensive midfield in the first place.
Andy, Toon Fan
Mixed-Up Muddled-Up Shook-Up
Can I nominate Smithy's Biggest Fan (TM) for an award? Her letter today (sample sentence: "Ferguson dropped him like a hot potato and now Newcastle are throwing him right into the melting pot on the footballing scrapheap") had more mixed metaphors per word than anything I've read in the F365 Mailbox in years.
Terrific stuff. Reminded me fondly of Futurama's Zapp Brannigan with his peerless call to arms; "If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards - checkmate!"
Andy Neilson
...RE: Jane Petty...
"I am absolutely incensed. Yes he's had his injury problems and yes the return on the £6ml investment is poor but Fat Sam used him as a round peg in a square hole just like Ferguson did and now Kinnear's squeaking just like spineless Keegan. He may not be many people's cup of tea but he can still do a good job for someone. Players do not become bad overnight and he has not had a fair crack - people wrote him off from the word go pretty much. Ferguson dropped him like a hot potato and now Newcastle are throwing him right into the melting pot on the footballing scrapheap."
You forgot to mention that it's a game of two halves, too many cooks spoil the broth, If the shoe fits wear it, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, like father like son, keep your friends close and your enemies closer, if you cant stand the heat get out of the kitchen.
Ben (A rolling stone gathers no moss) R - BCFC
Read This Out In A Noddy Holder Voice
Can I please ask whats with the "Rebuilding England - well I'd suggest you start with Wolverhampton " comment in your mediawatch section
As a 3rd generation Yam Yam I take great offence , fair do's it may not be the most asthetic place to live but I can think of a lot worse........Birmingham for a start followed swiftly by Liverpool and Bristol.
No need for such unjustified abuse, just think if it werent for Wolverhampton you would not have the following :-
Led Zeppelin (Plant & Bonham)
Steve Bull (Got in the World Cup 90 squad when as a 3rd Division player)
Banks Beer
Can't think of anymore but for some reason it has enraged me
Hope my fellow yam yams can provide some more
I know you won't print it as its not about Spurs, Man u , pool or the arse but I have to stick up for my hometown
Andy, Wolverhampton
You Ain't Got No Alibi
Sir,
Your contributor from this morning has clearly forgotten Luke Chadwick.
Fondest regards,
Jeremy Aves
True Enough
Why am I alawys reading stories about players and managers warning the opposition, surely it would be better to surprise them?
Regards
MR (virgin to the mailbox) Singh
OK, One More
I wonder if Ronaldo was complaining that the wall wasnt ten yards back.
Thank you, I'm here all week, try the veal.
Michael "not the gay baxterman that wrote into f365 last month" Baxter