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Tevezgate All Over Again...
With Kaka belonging to Jesus would the proposed transfer to Man City not be considered a third-party deal?
So if Kaka was to sign for Man Citeh would we have a repeat of the Tevezgate saga????
Brendan O'Brien
England Could Have Been Chelsea
Anyone else really glad Big Phil didn't get the England job?
Si (insert witty sign off here), Runcorn
Blaming Butch
Adding up the Chelsea problem...
Because I am a very clever boy, I gotsta thinking. Why have Chelsea become so crap?
I think I know the reason - and it is little to do with the players and the manager, more the assistant manager. Bear in mind that these stats carry even more weight when considering that the Chelsea squad has been extremely successful over the past few years, as has Phil Scolari, yet Mr Ray Wilkins has fallen flat on his arse in every job he has ever had...
Games this season without Ray Wilkins
Played 5
Won 4
Lost 0
Drawn 1
Games this season with Ray Wilkins
Played 24
Won 12
Drawn 7
Lost 5
As a non-Chelsea fan, I really don't care - but thought Mr Scolari might be interested.
Sam (way too much time on his hands) Tate
Spurs Crisis Not The Players' Fault
Reading John Nicholson's column on Spurs really touched a nerve.
Unlike many of my fellow Spurs fans who repeatedly write on messageboards and email boxes like this one about how sub-par all the players are, I have taken the view, and continue to take the view, that the problem at spurs has for the most part been about coaching. In terms of raw talent and skill the squad is not too disimilar to Arsenal, Villa or Everton (even Liverpool pre Torres) and has been that way for the best part of the last four years, so why have they been so poorly performing?
From the players' perspective, and in agreement with John Nich, I think the story of Michael Carrick is instructive. By joining Man Utd he transformed from the talented 'sometimes' player into a really consistent performer. Yes, the quality of player around him helped, but in the main the central change, in my view was his mentality. He gained a bit of Sir Alex's bloody mindedness and winner's pedigree.
All throughout Spurs history, the mistakes of the managers are perfectly apparent. Graham thought all Spurs needed was mettle. He brought in many mediocre experienced footballers under the guise of adding mettle to the team but the result was dour mediocrity. Hoddle, was the architect of the Spurs 'soft centere' - by insisting every player was a proper footballer he removed the dourness of the Graham regime but at the price of mettle. Santini, made not losing more important than winning making us negative. Jol created an environment where expression was paramount but consistency wasn't key, so we were wonderfully (beautifully at times) inconsistent. Ramos, instilled military discipline but conveyed the air that only the cups were important - so we did a lot of losing in the league.
So we arrived at Harry. He's tried his usual 'bare bones' trick only to find he's been rumbled almost straight away - resources has never been Spurs' problem. He's got a good squad (I would say a really good one - cue laughter) so he's left to do what he's paid for - i.e. coach, instil a (beautiful) style of playing, produce individual match tactics and motivate the players. I doubted whether that was 'arry's forte, he always seemed a 'go out and play' sort of manager. This year in a compressed league I doubt that will be enough.
Ike 'hoping raw talent gets us through' Ndukwe
This Made Us Laugh
I'm fairly sure Jan Aage Fjortoft didn't play for Norway because of an 'apparent obsession with red'.
I strongly suspect it was because he was, and is, Norwegian.
Luke Nuckley, Southampton
Creativity Is Not Cheating
For the attention of Duncan, Sheffield: innovation and trickery is not cheating. Is the step-over also unethical? Should you tell the opposoition what you plan to do as you are dribbling in case you risk offence? As for Giggs being embarrassed by the move, I have previously seen him stand in front of a throw and as he runs away the ball is bounced off his back, back to the thrower. Lighten up - it was a change from corners not clearing the first man (punishment for this should be death).
In concluding, how many of the today's contributions are from other countries? Bloody foreigners thinking they can talk about English footy.
Adam Whitemore, Launceston, Australi...(oops)
...Duncan, Sheffield if you think United's brilliant corner trick was unsportsmanlike Im afraid you are a a dullard. Deception of the opposition (rather than the officials) is a legitimate tactic in any sport. Is it unsportsmanlike for Ronaldhino to deceive the opposition by looking one way and passing the ball in the opposite direction? Course it's not.
Denis Cohen, Shalford, Essex
...Duncan, Sheffield, I am sorry to be one to bite, but being so harsh about Mr Ryan Giggs is just not on mate. Basically, from your assessment, football is 100% about how you kick a ball, not WHERE you kick the ball...
Let me explain. You said that Giggs cheated his opponents to gain an advantage. How exactly is out-thinking your opponents cheating? I remember Zizou making quite a career out of being the best thinker on the pitch, along with Scholes and possibly even Cantona on his day. After all, my Dad can blast a ball pretty hard, you know the kind of shot that leaves purple bruises on your arse if you're in the way. The reason he is not a professional footballer, or ever has been for that matter is that he is not blessed with the cognitive capacity to know where to stand if he wants to blast the ball, like Michael Owen, or who to play the ball into to gain an assist.
My reasoning here is not that you have to be the most technically-skilled player or even team in the world to be the best, but simply if you are the quickest or cleverest thinking then you are well within your rights to win a football match.
Whether the corner was legal or not is another matter, but lets not ever slag off Giggsy ever again. Case closed. Thanks.
Ben, Guildford (Cantona, Beckham, Ronaldo - all number 7 - all world class)
...Duncan of Sheffield laughingly tried to call Ryan Giggs' character into question over the Man Utd corner at the weekend. Don't make me laugh, if trying to gain an unfair advantage in football is worth calling someone's character into question then you must be very lonely up there on your high horse. Every player in the league has appealed for a throw-in, despite knowing that the ball hit them last, is that not the same thing? What about diving or should we not go there, especially as Giggs is one of the more honest players in that respect.
Another question for you, would you deem a quick corner or free-kick an 'unfair advantage'? If so then I propose that corners and free-kicks are, from this point forwards, preceeded by a hide and seek style 'Coming, ready or not' to be shouted by the player taking the set piece in question. Throw-ins as well for that matter, I mean, heaven forbid a team isn't fully prepared or ready before the opposition takes a set piece.
Muppet.
Incidentally, Howard Webb only said that the corner was against the spirit of the game because he knew that his linesman and he had both made a balls-up of the whole situation. I mean, imagine having to admit that you had been outwitted by someone with the intellect of Wayne Rooney.
Paul Milton, Man Utd
More Clever Set-Pieces
Don't let Pete Gill see this one, as it's about a goal against the Arsenal...
Just remembered quite a clever free-kick that Liverpool once used against the gunners back in the mid-Nineties. The ball was at the edge of the D, primed for a nice Barnes curler, or a Ruddock thunderbolt. Razor shaped up and Barnes went to the edge of the wall. Meanwhile, ace predator and moustachioed genius Ian Rush had taken up a loitering position on the other side of the box. As Ruddock barrelled up to the ball, Barnes dropped off about five feet, and Rushie made his move into the six-yard box. Ruddock, instead of blasting the ball into the Arsenal wall, slid a delicate little pass to Barnes, who used the free space he'd gained to knock it across the six yard line for Rushie coming in behind the wall to blast past Seaman.
I also loved that routine Chelsea used against us last year. It basically involved Lampard and Drogba fecking about over a ball, which then ended up caught up in Drogba's feet, until he cleverly let Xabi Alonso (I think) whip it out from under him and clear it. Brilliant...
Stephen, LFC
...If I remember correctly it was the European U-16 Championship Final against Italy in 1998 (could have been the U-18 Championship - we won both that year, the high point for our country in our international competition to date!).
The score was 1-1 and we had a free-kick at the edge of the box. One of our players stood at the end of the Italian wall and leaned into it, pushing it a few yards to one side just as the kick was being taken. The ball nestled in the corner of the goal the wall should have been covering while the Italian team surrounded the ref in disbelief that he was actually allowing what turned out to be the winning goal. Even as an incredibly biased fan I was quite taken aback that it wasn't disallowed.
Not exactly the most sporting of set pieces but worth a mention!
Donal, LFC, Ireland
...Just wanted to add my best set-piece ever.
It was in the 2000/01 season and it was Deportivo scoring against Alaves. I think it was Sergio that scored but my memory fails. Anyway they had a free-kick wide on the left-hand side of the box. The guy played it to the edge of the area centrally but instead of shooting he passed it to the left inside the box to the left-winger and he in turn played it in centrally where Sergio was waiting to poke it in. It doesn't sound like much I know but the speed of the move was incredible. Can't find it on youtube but if you get to see it make sure you do. Was fantastic!
Bradley Kirrage, Dartford
...Don't ask why I came across this clip as it is for reasons far too geeky to admit to, however what United attempted to do at the weekend has been done successfully in Switzerland. Ivan Rakitic playing for Basle did this:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=9nBoKNy7j0Y&feature=related
Pretty slick, no?
Best novelty set piece though, has to be Cruyff doing the pass from a penalty thing, and pulling it off? Unlike Terry and Bob a few years ago...
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=mQRcwQxrkFI
Ben Smith, South London Gooner
...Best free kick never scored: Beckham and Giggs taking a free kick together.
Witness the spectacle at http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=D7xQPd3Z5QU.
Also, I remember reading in Jimmy Greaves' autobiography (brilliant read) about an old trick Spurs used to play at corners, involving pretending to mess it up. Corner taker runs to the ball, stops, complains to his team mates who start wandering towards him, annoyed looks on faces, at which point all the opposition defenders lost their markers thinking they had a moment while Spurs sorted themselves out. The corner taker then stepped back and quickly takes the corner towards completely unmarked strikers, resulting in many a goal, that is till the other teams started to catch on!
Dave Rennie, Aberdeen, Spurs
Football: Apparently Not Invented By Sky In 1992
Yet again, a Man Utd fan (this time in the form of Hugh O'Reilly) demonstrates everything that is wrong with football. To hear O'Reilly talk about Liverpool's inevitable implosion is to realise that so many Utd fans have absolutely no sense of irony or knowledge of the history of the game. Growing up in the 70s and 80s it was United who were the big time charlies who talked a good game but always, inevitably, imploded. But then again when you honestly believe that football started in 1992 and that Andy Cole is better than Ian Rush because he scored more Premier League goals than him, what do you expect?
As a Liverpool fan I have no difficulty at all accepting that United are the best team in the country and that in all likelihood they will win the title. The reason why they will never be happy though is that they have bought, not earned, the title year after year after year. What other club can afford to splash £18m apiece on Anderson, Nani, Tevez, Hargreaves and Carrick and then use them as squad players?
With the exception of a short period from 2004 to 2006 United have had more money to spend on transfers and wages than any other club and we all know what happened during the aforementioned period. Call that an achievement if you must, stroke yourself into a frenzy of self congratulatory stupour as you gain an 18th league title, but United's achievements will never match Liverpool's because, quite simply, they have bought it in the same way as I go into a shop and buy a pint of milk (though I don't usually reward myself with a five-knuckle shuffle when I get home).
Schmarn, Shepherd's Bush
...Taking Hugh Reilly's ever so juicy bait, I would like to wax nostalgic about my own childhood and early adulthood. As I recall, from my birth in the very late 60s, Man Utd spent more than anyone else year on year and had the biggest support in the country. Despite this they failed to win the league for fully 25 years, never won the European Cup until I was in my early 30s (Champions League to the whippersnappers like young Hugh) and had some truly atrocious players: Arthur Graham, Ralph Milne, Mike Phelan and Gary Birtles being some of my particular favourites.
I can fondly recall them getting relegated and playing in the second division around the same time as Liverpool won their first European Cup. Yes times have changed but finishing fourth in the Premier League really is a step up from being back-heeled into the second tier of the league by one of your best ex-players (Dennis Law, look him up on YouTube son).
Finally and while I'm in the mood to patronise, you might be young but isn't Cork in a different country from Manchester and Liverpool? I had assumed the Irish had enough 'local rivalries' of their own without feeling the need to weigh into ours as well, especially when limited life experience could so easily be confused for complete ignorance?
Leon 'we had proper hooligans in my day' Hughes, Liverpool, England
Wayne Bridge x 7 =
Although £91 million for Kaka may seem a tad steep, remember Wayne Bridge cost £12 million and I'm sure that the God-obsessed magician is over seven times better than the former footballer.
John Heath, London
The Best Shirt Numbers Ever
Newcastle's number 9 was worn by Andy Cole, Les Ferdinand and Alan Shearer in succession. That's the 1st, 2nd and 5th top scorers in the Premier league.
Chris (Skinaldo), Newcastle
...In reply to Niall Libpool FC, how about the number 7 jersey at Man Utd; Robson, Cantona, Beckham, Ronaldo.
Shane (MUFC), Cork
...In response to Niall, Libpool FC regarding squad numbers:
Number 7 - Cantona, Beckham and Ronaldo
Number 10 - Hughes, Beckham, Sheringham, Van Nistelrooy, Rooney
Surely that's better than the 23 shirt at Real!
David, Oldham Red
...In response to Niall the Libpool fan's question...
the last three Barcelona number 10s have been Messi, Ronaldinho and Rivaldo (I'm pretty sure anyway). I think you agree this utterly s**ts on Real's number 23s.
For good measure, I think their number 10 before Rivaldo was Jari Litmanen. What a waste his talent was at Liverpool - is there a better example of an excellent player being so badly mis-used? (ie played out of position and therefore wasted).
Kev
The Worst Shirt Numbers?
Niall, Libpool FC - yes there has been a better trio that have worn the same shirt number than David Beckham, Wesley Sneidjer and now Van der Vaart.
Manchester United's number 7 - Cantona, Beckham, Ronaldo.
Or United's number 10 - Sheringham, Van Nistelrooy, Rooney (and Beckham wore it before Teddy if you want to make it four.)
Being a United fan I don't have as much geek like knowledge of other clubs' squad numbers but has there been a worse trio to wear a decent number than Crespo, Boulahrouz, Sidwell (9) at Chelsea?
Samuel Cole, MUFC
One Of Many, Many Similar Mails
Dr Wang's PhD clearly wasn't in maths. In fact, he probably hasn't even got a GCSE in maths. Since he invites us to 'correct me if I'm wrong', and since I have a Masters degree in Maths, I will. Yes, I'm smug - what of it?
1 is not a prime number, hence Neville Southall is not a valid answer to the question: 'Can anyone think of a player whose number at four or more different clubs has been a prime number?'
And yes, I realise this email is probably also the kind of email which prompted the question: 'What happened to the witty banter and inciteful football analysis?'
Neil Cowling, Leeds
More Close Shaves
Another close shave from my club based on the email from Rich in London: I really wanted Man United to sign Stan Collymore back in the mid-nineties, and thought he was a much better player than Andy Cole when we signed him. I was pleased with the way things worked out in the end!
Dan, Edinburgh
...On the subject of players you wish your club had signed, but were then rather glad you didn't, I'd like to submit Stanley Victor Collymore to Manchester United. We were linked with the player time after time in the papers, with a bid and a purchase seemingly imminent. As legend has it, Fergie decided that he was going to sign Stan, but Frank Clark point blank refused to take his phone calls, sacking him off every time Fergie called to try and negotiate a fee.
In the end, frustrated, Fergie turned his attentions elsewhere and we ended up signing Andy - sorry, Andrew - Cole instead. At the time, I was gutted. I thought Cole was a one-trick pony who could score goals and nothing else, whereas Collymore could beat players, had far more pace and power and, in my humble opinion at the time, was all set to be one of the best players in the World. In the event, Cole was a loyal and very useful - if only occasionally spectacular - servant for Man Utd, scoring 93 goals in 195 games, and who can forget that joyous two seasons when his partnership with Dwight Yorke was on another Planet, whereas Collymore, despite the very odd flash of utter genius...turned out to be a complete mentalist.
Such is life. On a related note, who is the player you've been most excited at seeing play for your club, only for them to turn out to be utter gash? For my money, it's Veron. Looked sensational in pre-season, looked lost in season. Any Man Utd fans who say it's Berbatov are t***s. The man has a touch so sublime and sweet that he could steal your wallet and shag your missus, and the first you'd know about it was when she walked into the living room like John Wayne and asked to borrow a tenner. Legend in the making. End of.
Andy 'Berba is my idol' Logan
...Carrying on from the 'glad we didn't sign him' theme, here are some lucky escapes for Man Utd over the years:
Glenn Hysen. United had all but signed this chap in 1989, seemingly a perfect replacement for the brilliant-but-troubled Paul McGrath, before Liverpool pinched him. Fortunately, after a half-decent start for the scousers, he turned out to be utter cock, while the defender United bought instead - a certain Gary Pallister - turned out to be rather good.
David Hirst. Actually a very good player. However, Sheffield Wednesday's refusal to sell led to Fergie looking elsewhere, until he happened upon a certain Frenchman at Leeds, and a willing seller in Howard Wilkinson. Meanwhile, much of the remainder of Hirst's career was plagued by injury.
Jon Obi Mikel. £12m not to have this deeply average player with a major attitude problem must represent the luckiest escape of them all.
Griff
...As a Man Utd supporter, I was absolutely gutted when we lost Kewell to Liverpool...Turns out he was absolute sh*te.
I was also disappointed that we lost Aaron Ramsay...I have a feeling he is going to be just as sh*te.
Dennis Naidoo, Johannesburg
...Myself and may other Gooners were gnashing our teeth at missing out on Julio 'The Beast' Baptista after an extremely prolonged chase when he opted to join Real Madrid over us to sample the delights of the Bernabeu bench in the interests of earning a Spanish passport. Sadly when he eventually came to N7, one night at Anfield aside, the emergency strike partnership forged by he and Jeremie Aliadiere in the face of an injury crisis made the prospect of cloning the DNA of Chris Kiwomya and Kaba Diawara, Jurassic Park-style, an attractive alternative - a Stegosaurus would probably move faster and enjoy a better first touch than Baptista too. The recent barracking of Bendtner by the home 'support' is totally not on in my eyes, but I'll confess my hypocrisy and admit to joining in with a chorus of "f***ing hell, The Beast has scored" when he actually managed to bag one against Citeh.
Now based on Aliadiere's nasty habit of scoring more goals against Arsenal each season than he did in his entire Premiership career in red and white, I fully expect The Beast to smash a hat-trick for Roma at The Emirates next month and dump us out of Europe. Anybody wanna bemoan the waste of space players that somehow always seem to find the net against their club despite being A Bit Rubbish otherwise? Yes Jenas, I'm looking at you.
Greg (this is my first attempt at a mailbox entry and it probably shows) Porter, AFC, London
And A Reverse On That...
I remember sitting at a PC in college with my Liverpool supporting mate in what I guess was 2003 and reading Liverpool being linked with another unknown French based player on TeamTalk.com. This one was a chap named Michael Essien then playing with Bastia. How we poured scorn on him; "What is Houllier doing buying all these rubbish French players, he'll probably be the next Bernard Diomede! Bla Bla Blah" What a pair of muppets we were, eh?
Adamos (We'd probably have ruined him anyway) Dublin
I Don't Want Him At My Club Because...
In response to Matthew from Somerset's e-mail, I read on a reputable Arsenal site this week an article by a fan claiming Arshavin would be a horrible signing for Arsenal. I quoth, 'Sure, he'll be great in mid April when we are 3-0 up at home to relegation fodder, but how will he like cold midweek games away from home?'
Having spent his entire footballing career in Russia, I'm sure the cold weather in England would really be a major culture shock to Arshavin.
Tim Stillman
Poll Stations
I love the polls on your website, they always make me laugh, and it made me laugh when I saw over 6% would buy West Ham. Can you edit it so I can spend 90,999,999 on my island and the final penny on West Ham, I think this would be fair.
Thomas Plumb, Cambridge
...Apparently 7% of the F365 readers would rather buy West Ham rather than Kaka. Now either there are a lot of fellow Hammers on the site, which means please can we have a little less dreary Big Four whinging in the otherwise fascinating mailbox, or some Spuds fans are planning on buying and bankrupting us. Listen boys, leave well alone. The current incumbents seem to be hellbent on achieving this without your interference.
Phil (exiled Hammer) Norway
...I presume the sheikh would already have loads of beer and women, an island and he already owns an English football club. Hence, if these are the only choices on offer, wouldn't the logical choice be to buy Kaka?
AJP
