Yellow Fever
This weekend, Dean Windass received a yellow card for warming up near Rory Delap. Stephen Pienaar received a yellow card for removing his shirt after scoring Everton's winner at Tottenham to reveal a 'God is Great' message. Rafael da Silva was booked for 'throwing the ball away' while looking in the opposite direction. Stephen Ireland received a yellow card for a similar offence in the same game. Stephen McPhail received a second yellow card for an almost-identical indiscretion in the south Wales derby at Swansea.
All of these players were given the same punishment as the FA deems appropriate for Chris Morgan cracking Ian Hume's skull a few weeks ago.
The good news is that Hume was released from a high dependency unit after being readmitted last week.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
"I don't say anything about referees" - Luiz Felipe Scolari, September 13.
"I'm not surprised there were so many bookings. The referee is there for that reason. If players don't respect him then he will show yellow card or red cards. It is the same for everyone - Liverpool, Chelsea or Manchester United" - Luiz Felipe Scolari, September 22.
"I want the referee and the linesman to see they are wrong, and they say 'sorry. That is all I want, no more - because they were not good and made a mistake, which I understand. I do not want three points; all I want is them to say 'sorry, it was a mistake' - because in the first half, the same linesman made a mistake against us with (Salomon) Kalou. He is a man and he can make a mistake, but the offside killed my team.
"I just want them to say they are wrong - because I am wrong when I put some players in, or the players are wrong when they make a mistake in front of goal or are not covering. These are all wrong, but the referee is never wrong. We lost today because one goal was not a goal, and it was a goal which changed the result" - Luiz Felipe Scolari, November 30.
What A Difference A Defeat Makes
"Last season Chelsea were nine points behind United at the halfway point and even if you're 15 points clear with five games to go, you're not champions. You're only champions at the end of the last game" - Luiz Felipe Scolari, November 28.
"If we won, Arsenal would have been 13 points behind us and their championship would have been finished" - Luiz Felipe Scolari, November 30.
They Don't React How They Used To
Paul Parker is fast becoming Mediawatch's favourite average player turned even averager pundit.
In his column on Eurosport.com, Parker scribbled:
'Cristiano Ronaldo and Manchester United need to stop complaining about his supposedly rough treatment...If anything he should take it as a compliment. All this moaning doesn't say much about him as a person. He should be able to stand up for himself instead of rolling around complaining, then getting Sir Alex to say something after the game.
'Football will always have its hate figures. My old team-mate Eric Cantona was loathed by a lot of people because he had an upright, abrupt, haughty demeanour. But in the end he won them over - and not just because of his amazing playing ability. Eric had respect for his opponents and for the game, and acted like a real man....
'I don't know if the abuse affects Ronaldo but it never seemed to get to players of my era.'
We agree Paul. After all, it's not as if Cantona was ever provoked and reacted to criticism, is it?
Kick It Out
"At Newcastle United we will continue to work together to make sure that racism is stamped out at all levels of the game" - Former Newcastle chairman Chris Mort, October 17, 2008.
"Using football to promote an anti-racism message is really effective, partly because so many youngsters have footballers as role models and really take in what they say. People want to put the posters up in their schools or workplaces because they feature their favourite team, so the message about racism can be seen everywhere. Newcastle United have been fantastic supporters of our campaign and we're grateful for all their help in promoting our cause" - Ged Grebby, spokesman for 'Show Racism the Red Card' launches a campaign in conjunction with Newcastle United, August 22.
"Everyone here at Newcastle United is committed to eradicating racism in all its forms from the game. Racism has no place in sport or society" - Shola Ameobi, Newcastle's 'anti-racism ambassador', October 16.
Hmmm, we don't think the message has got through chaps.
England, My England
It's Monday, so that must mean it's time for Jeff Powell's weekly bout of bonkers in The Daily Mail. And he doesn't disappoint.
In a column defending the introduction of the 'six-plus-five' proposal, Jeff writes:
'It would cause chaos among major clubs, challenging Arsene Wenger and Rafa Benitez to wean themselves off their dependence on French, Spanish or other foreign imports and start developing young English footballers...Despite the consternation this will provoke at places like Arsenal - where Wenger's scouting of foreign kids to supplement bargain mercenaries keeps a tight rein on the budget.'
Number of English youngsters included in Arsenal's latest kids exercise against Wigan in the Carling Cup: Five.
Number of French or Spanish imports in same starting line-up: One.
Sounds like Arsene is already planning for that one, Jeff.
As an aside, here's one of the closing lines from Mr Powell's piece. If anyone can explain what he's on about here, we'd be most grateful.
'If Enid Blyton were still writing her children's books, be sure young Cristiano would be one of her Five Go To Old Trafford.'
That Old Chestnut
"They're just collectors' items. It's nothing to do with racism. This is PC gone ridiculous. I've got several black friends and they don't have a problem with them" - David Roberts, who runs a websites supplying 'patriotic and football badges, t-shirts, mugs and car stickers', defends the sale of badges with Golliwogs holding banners of assorted football clubs.
The not-racist-at-all site also offers badges featuring such 'patriotic' slogans as 'Asylum: Don't Unpack You're Going Back' and 'Enoch Powell Was Right', as well as a t-shirt with Mr Powell's face on the front and '...I seem to see the River Tiber foaming with much blood' on the back.
Lagging Behind
One of the most frequent complaints/excuses from Liverpool is that they lack the financial means to properly compete with those teams that have actually won the league in the post-war years.
And Stevie G is at it too, writing in his soon to be published new book:
"When you look at Chelsea, Arsenal and United they are all pulling more punters into the ground than we are and it makes a difference to our revenue over the season. We're playing catch up every year."
Capacity of Stamford Bridge according to Soccerbase.com: 42,420.
Capacity of Anfield according to Soccerbase.com: 45,362.
Clasico, Isn't It
Intro from Saturday's Sun: 'Roberto Martinez insists that the south Wales derby can eclipse Real Madrid against Barcelona.'
Actual quotes from Roberto Martinez: "I can't wait to experience our derby because then you can relate it to all the other derbies I've had a taste of. I've seen a lot in my time. There was the Clasico in Spain where the atmosphere is incredible."
This Way To See 'Experienced' Writer Make A Fool Of Himself
Mediawatch prides itself on taking criticism well. Just like that time Danny Smith said we 'smelled like poo' at a school swimming lesson, and we shut his shoes and underpants in a locker.
Well, published writer Mr Mark Ryan could do well to learn a lesson from us, if his comments at the bottom of this review are anything to go by.
Diary Entry Of The Weekend
From Karen Brady's diary in The Sun:
'Funny how often my calls to Premier League directors find them in a restaurant of the golf course. Not always, though..."What's that noise?" I ask. "Ah that" says the director. "I'm with my partner at the Erotica Show and they have a whip-testing centre." He says they couldn't decide whether it was worth paying an extra £10 for the deluxe version with extra tassles.
'Shades of Whacky Max, what's going on? Then he reveals he's moving on to see the 'Fantasy Boys' perform and he wasn't talking about Chelsea. I make my excuses and cut the line.'
We'll leave you to speculate on who that might be.
Forum Thread Of The Day
The London Meet Up
Proof that there are in fact real people on the forum. Look - they have pictures!
Analysis Of The Weekend
"It's never over til it's over...but this is over" - Chris Kamara offers his scholarly appraisal of Sunderland v Bolton.
Least Surprising Revelation Of The Weekend
"I get loads of complaints when I co-commentate" - Mark Lawrenson shocks precisely nobody.
Schadenfreude Moment Of The Day
This way to see a man with a broken leg get dropped off a stretcher.
Admit it, you laughed. Just like the James Richardson-a-like in the studio at the end there.
'Bound To Work' Non-Football Story Of The Day
'Forget tougher sentences and more bobbies on the beat, the latest weapon in the war on drunk yobs is... bubble blowing. Revellers at pubs and clubs will be handed bubble-blowers with the aim of channelling over-boisterous behaviour into harmless fun. The blue and orange children's toys, which double as pens, will be handed out by police community support officers in Bolton on Saturday nights throughout December'- The Daily Mail.
Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotters: David McCulloch and Tony. If you spot something that belongs on this page, mail theeditor@football365.com putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.
