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Pravda (Part One)
Mediawatch knows that the job of Chelsea FC's newsletter is to send out a positive message about Chelsea, but is this the biggest 'arguably' in history? Arguably.
They wrote: 'But arguably the most famous meeting in recent years was in April 2006 when we became the first London club to win back-to-back league titles in over 75 years by beating Man Utd 3-0 - it doesn't get much better.'
Yes, because that's the Chelsea-Man United clash that everybody remembers.
Pravda (Part Two)
A quick glance at the Chelsea website sees Chelsea being heralded as 'the only Barclays Premier League team to remain unbeaten since the turn of the year'.
Well done, Chelsea. WOuld it be churlish to point out that Sunderland, Newcastle, Manchester United, Tottenham and Manchester City have all picked up more points in 2012 and that only Wigan and Stoke have scored fewer goals?
Stumble And Fall
The Sun's big back-page exclusive is that Jose Mourinho would go back to Chelsea. In The Sun's words, that would be truly 'spectacular'.
But wait a minute, what's this?
'The only stumbling block is that this time Mourinho will insist Blues' billionaire Roman Abramovich guves him TOTAL control of team affairs, free of any interference.'
In other news, Mediawatch can exclusively reveal that Mediawatch would sleep with Beyonce. The only stumbling block is that she really doesn't seem to be keen.
Tell Me On A Sunday
Writes Steven Howard in The Sun on Friday: 'John Terry's international future could well be in the hands of Rio Ferdinand. Literally. Should the Manchester United Star decide not to shake Terry's hand before Sunday's game with Chelsea at Stamford Bridge many will believe there is little way Terry can continue as England captain.'
For a man who claims to be 'at the heart of The Sun', you would have thought somebody would have informed him of their back-page story headlined 'Terry In FA D-Day'.
Same Quotes, Different Headlines
The Sun: 'Arteta: Top four slot fading away'.
The Daily Star: 'Mik: Top 4 spot still on'.
Results Business
There's been an awful lot of hot air about Ken Bates' decision to sack Simon Grayson. Emitting the hottest of air is Brighton boss Gus Poyet, who said: "I didn't understand the decision to sack Simon. I like Ken Bates a lot but I'm sorry, Ken - wrong.
"You are only able to base your opinion on the results."
Agreed. Is Mediawatch the only one to notice that Leeds have picked up eight points from their last eight games, with only Millwall and Nottingham Forest in worse form in the Championship? We suspect that Ken Bates is indeed only basing his opinion on results.
Understatement Of The Week
"Steve Bruce probably said himself that things didn't go the way we wanted" - Sunderland's Phil Bardsley on 'amassing' 21 points from Bruce's last 27 Premier League games in charge.
Martial Artist Of The Week
Do you want to see Tottenham midfielder Sandro pull off some martial arts moves? Of course you do.
Hint: Turn up the volume so you can her him shout 'PAIN'.
Non-Football Story Of The Day
'Doctors of central China's Hunan Province helped a middle-aged man to get two rings off his penis as he used this bizarre method against theft and robbery on his journey home, but the rings later got stuck on it, a local newspaper reported Thursday. Changde City firemen received a report around noon of January 28 that a man got two rings stuck on his penis due to long-time congestion in the penis.
'The man said he put the rings on his penis to prevent them from being stolen or robbed as he traveled long distance home for the Chinese New Year, the Changde Evening News reported. As the rings were around a sensitive organ, the firemen sent the man to a hospital for surgical removal. In a sterile operation room, doctors used forceps to create a gap between the rings and the man's penis and cut off the rings with a pair of pliers.
'The operation lasted about an hour and the man was finally relieved' - CriEnglish.com
Thanks for nothing. If you want to help next week, mail us at theeditor@football365.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.
