The Page That Witnessed The Opening Of The Banter Decanter

Fergie as Deirdre Rashid, Garth Crooks the maverick, and lost in outrage...

Last Updated: 06/02/12 at 12:29

Latest Articles

The Page That Could've Done Without That Information Before Lunch

Some red hot sources over at Soccernet, the spin on a few photos and a load of meat...

The Page That Should Be Here In Long Term

Is the 66-year-old Fabio Capello 'a young coach who can remain in the job long-term'? Oh and Spurs fans should be relieved...

All Articles

Llllllllovely Stuff
Of course, it would be remiss of us not to mention the fine fashion sported by Sir Alex Ferguson in his interview with Sky before Sunday's game.

If you missed it, Fergie rocked up in the oft-maligned white polo neck/dark blazer combo that Alan Partridge would probably describe as 'sports casual'. It was, in the words of Shakin' Stevens, lovely stuff.

Opinion seems to be currently divided on whether the old boy looked more like Val Doonican, Deirdre Rashid or the Milk Tray man. Whoever his style guru is, we're all for it, and long may it continue.


Maverick To The End
As usual, Garth Crooks's team of the week for The BBC Website produced a few...ahem...talking points.

Now, we know all of this is subjective and so forth, but at left-back is Patrice Evra, part of a United defence that conceded three and would've let in more had it not been for a couple of blinding saves from David de Gea.

'Whatever you think of Evra, he has never been afraid to get amongst the action,' said Crooks. Well yes, if by 'never been afraid to get amongst the action' he means 'being ripped a new one by Daniel Sturridge'.

Also in Garth's XI is Rio Ferdinand, about whom he writes: 'Your are 3-0 down, the crowd on your back and you still have 35 minutes to play. At no stage did Ferdinand let the scoreline or the crowd get to him.'

Anyone want to ask Garth how he thinks United got to 3-0 down in the first place?


The Tactics Truck
Lovely punditry from Andy Townsend, who has taken his tactics truck* over to Premier League TV and gives them the best from his brain these days.

About one of the 2,343 penalty claims in the Chelsea v United game, Townsend said:

"Look, you can tell it's a cast iron penalty as none of the Chelsea defenders are protesting."

With magnificent comic timing, just as the words left his mouth a slow-motion replay showed the whole Chelsea defence with their hands on their heads, screaming in disbelief that the referee had given it.

* He just drives it around, like one of those mobile libraries that goes around remote villages.**

** We've made this up.


Compensation
Most of the post-match reaction to the Chelsea v Man United game was pretty interesting, but one comment did raise our eyebrows quite a fair bit.

Said Andre Villas-Boas about the refereeing performance:

"I'm not sure if Howard Webb is trying to compensate for something."

Hang on - is he accusing Mr Webb of making up for a penis-size complex by making spicy decisions on the pitch? We're not sure if you've got much to back that one up, Andre.


Lost In Outrage
Obviously, Fabio Capello's shocking, outlandish admission that he might not agree with a decision his bosses made has seen the jumping up and down and whining one might expect from our glorious press.

Head of the queue is, as one might expect, the 'man at the heart of The Sun' Steven Howard, who seems to think this is the end of the world.

'FABIO CAPELLO has planted a bomb under the FA,' he wails in his column this morning.

'He sounds like a man at such discord with his bosses that a parting of the ways would be the best outcome. For this is outright war between him and the FA. Gross insubordination is one specific charge. Totally undermining his employers is the other.

'To go public and relay his feelings about axed skipper John Terry on Italian TV rather than to tell the FA in private is scarcely believable. The greatest act of disloyalty yet from a man who is already grossly overpaid at £6million a year.'

So was what Capello said that bad? Well, we guess this very much depends on the translation you trust. The Daily Mirror's reads: "I completely disagree with the FA about the John Terry decision. I have told that to the chairman. I considered and still consider Terry the England captain. I think we first should wait for the trial conclusion.

"It cannot be sanctioned until it is properly judged by competent bodies."

However, here's the one carried by F365, provided to us by The Press Association: 'Asked whether he was in agreement with "the Federation's decision re Terry?", Capello replied: "No, absolutely not.

"I have spoken to the chairman and I have said that, in my opinion, one cannot be punished until it's official and the court - a non-sporting court, a civil court - has made a decision to decide if John Terry has done what he has been accused of.

"I thought it was right that Terry should keep the captain's armband."

Those with better knowledge of Italian have confirmed that Capello did not make the 'still consider him to be captain' comment, so one can either read this as gross insubordination, or a slightly irked man saying he disagrees with what his bosses have decided but he will reluctantly accept their decision.


Happy To Be Corrected
Mediawatch has noticed plenty of justification for the booing and whatnot of Rio Ferdinand by Chelsea fans, claiming that he has been driving a media campaign against John Terry through his tweets and interviews and such.

Now, we've had a look through his Twitter feed, and can find no such statement on there. Indeed, Mr Ferdinand took Matt Dickinson of The Times to task this morning for making such a suggestion.

So what else is there? Mediawatch can only imagine it was the interview Ferdinand gave to Football Focus on Saturday, when Ferdinand said:

"Anton is my little brother. We have grown up together and I have looked after him when we were kids. If something is going to affect him and hurt him, I am always there as a shoulder to lean on. In moments like this, when things are so public and you can't really say anything, it can be frustrating.

"For my family, yes, it has been tough. At the end of the day, my brother has not brought any accusations to anyone. He is not the accused. But he has had to sit there and take abuse from some small-minded people, which has been very disappointing. I hope people see what effect that has, not just on the actual person but the people around them as well, and think before they speak."

Not a great deal there. However, we're an open sort of Watch, and are happy to be corrected.


O**
Maverick use of asterisks by The Daily Mirror this morn, reporting Stephen 'Wash your mouth out with soapy water young man' Ireland's witty retort to his manager's instructions.

The paper reports: 'The Villa boss was twice told to f*** o** by Ireland...'

Wow. If even 'off' is considered rude these days, we're in some serious trouble.


Worst Headline Of The Day
'Three Never Give In' - The Sun.

Runner-Up
'The Big Threeze' - The Daily Mirror.

'Awwwww' Story Of The Weekend
'A lifelong football fan is to finally live her childhood dream of being a mascot - at the age of 88. Celia Hodkin has been supporting Manchester City since 1933 when she started going to games with her parents as a nine-year-old. On Saturday her loyalty to the team will be rewarded when she will be a matchday mascot, meeting players including madcap Mario Balotelli and keeper Joe Hart.

'Celia's daughter, Cath Stone, arranged the 88th birthday treat by writing to club bosses telling them about her mum's loyal support. Now they have invited her to the Etihad Stadium to be the mascot in Saturday's game against Fulham. Cath said: "She's always loved them. She has a book of match reports she used to fill in from when she first went as a nine-year-old. I wrote to them and they have been great and have set up a wonderful day for her - she'll be over the moon" - The Sun.

Non-Football Story Of The Day
'The Euro is in trouble, the world's financial system is in turmoil. Is this the perfect time for cities to go it alone, and print their own money? A group of independent traders in Bristol are launching their own currency, with the backing of the council and a credit union. The "Bristol Pound" will be printed in notes, and also traded electronically. There are other local currencies in the UK, but this is the first which can be used to pay local business taxes. Ciaran Mundy, the director of the Bristol Pound, explained the concept behind the currency. "Big companies just hoover up money from a local area," he told me. "Money goes into their financial system and typically out into London and into the offshore sector" - BBC.


Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotter Jamie Bedwell. If you spot anything that belongs on this page, mail us at theeditor@football365.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.

Football365 Facebook Fan Page

The Football365 fan page is a great place to meet like minded people, have football related discussions and make new friends.

Sky Bet

Most Commented

Readers' Comments

T

here has only been 3 players who made me hold my breath in dread when they picked the ball up anywhere near our penalty area...in their prime Scholes and Giggs... and always Drogba. Awesome player who on his day was the best striker in the world in my opinion.

gunner14
Farewell Big, Brutal, Big-Balled B**tard

I

remember him scoring a 25-yarder, either the season just gone or the one before, against Bolton at the Reebok. I've never seen a ball hit that hard before in my entire life. You could almost feel the shockwave from his foot contacting it 40 yards away in the stands. Didier Droga. You might not have loved him, but you just had to be in awe of him.

jon_bwfc
Farewell Big, Brutal, Big-Balled B**tard

E

den Hazard, def. - 1) that girl in a club who makes eyes at you all night, who allows you to buy her a drink and walk her home arm in arm, who then gives you a suggestive kiss on her doorstep before declaring how tired she is and how she has to be up early the next day. 2) A cock tease.

cramp
Hazard 'terms agreed' with trio

Latest Photos

Footer 365

Villas-Boas craves longevity

Andre Villas-Boas, one of the favourites for the Liverpool job, is looking for a club with a "strong technical plan" which has longevity.

Chelsea bid for Moura snubbed

Chelsea have had a £32.4million offer for Brazil midfielder Lucas Moura rejected according to Sao Paulo president Juvenal Juvenico.

UEFA ponder CL rule change

UEFA are prepared to review the controversial rule that saw Tottenham miss out on the Champions League in favour of Chelsea.

Mail Box

Kean - Lost It, & Other Hair Related Choices

The heat may well have got to one chap, who has come up with a few players/managers whose hair reflects their playing style. That, and the man who tamed Drogba...

Paying Tribute To Didier 'Beast' Drogba

He will be missed by Chelsea but also by other fans who had no choice but to stand back and admire. Plus, mails on Liverpool, Tottenham and the stout Irish defence...

© 2012 365 Media Group Ltd. All Rights Reserved