F365 Features

Aston Villa v Fulham
Away wins for Fulham are about a rare as teeth on a chicken and so surely only the mentally unhinged would consider a punt on them winning at Villa Park? Well, put a pair of skimps on my head and butter my arse with Lurpak. I'm having a bash on the away win here and don't fear the men in white coats.
Betting: Fulham to beat Aston Villa at 11/2 (Skybet).

Middlesbrough v Newcastle
Michael Owen will surely have had a few restless nights after the government unveiled plans to cut the amount of money lost to the economy through workplace absenteeism this week. Owen, who has put in roughly the same amount of hours as Rab C Nesbitt in recent months, is at least fit again and should start against the Boro.

Despite spending much of his time on Tyneside on the treatment table his goals per game record remains pretty nifty and I fancy him to find the net in Saturday's big Tyne-Tees derby.
Betting: Owen to score anytime at 2/1 (Coral).

Stoke v Hull City
Let's be brutally honest. Unless you live on Humberside or the Potteries this fixture is about as glamourous as a dose of Ugandan Herpes and try as I might I can't get enthused about it.

Despite Hull's reputation as entertainers I can't see their being goals in this one so backing less than three at 4/5 looks the rout to profit.
Betting: Under 2.5 Goals at 4/5 (Stan James).

Sunderland v Bolton
The Trotters have won their last two away from home and will surely fancy the job against a misfiring Black Cats this weekend. Some of Sunderland's football against West Ham on Sunday was rougher than Roy Keane's beard and if they throw in another display like that then the 2/1 about a Bolton win looks massive.

My guess is though that Keane will have let his players know in no uncertain terms that shifts such as they put in against the Hammers are unacceptable (while possibly threatening to get 'all Alf-Inge Haaland on their asses' in the process) and for this reasons I fancy a score draw at the SOL.
Betting: Sunderland and Bolton to draw 1-1 at 11/2 (Skybet).

Wigan v West Brom
Another thoroughly uninspiring fixture this one and while I'm thinking home win I reckon punters would be better served putting their hard earned on Timmy Mallett to win I'm A Z-List Failure Stuck In The Jungle... or whatever it is they call it.

According to 'er indoors the former Wacaday top boy is a knocking bet for glory Down Under and he of the massive mallet variety has to be worth a tickle at 18s.
Betting: Timmy Mallett to win IACGMOOH at 18/1 (Stan James).

SUNDAY:

Manchester City v Manchester United
The Red Devils are presently well off the Premiership pace and after a tough trip to Villarreal in midweek could probably do without facing in-form bitter rivals Citeh here.

Am not sure the Blues have enough in their locker to turn United over but they will no doubt be "mad fer it" and in Robinho they have a stone wall footballing genius. The Brazilian has been dancing to a different beat so far this season and I'm well prepared to have a few shekels on him scoring at Eastlands. Betting: Robinho to score at 11/4 (Hills).

Portsmouth v Blackburn
Blackburn are churning out some absolute dog sh*te of late and anyone backing them here is surely a few fries short of a Happy Meal. They are second bottom of the Prem on merit and Paul Ince can't hide behind those ludicrous beige suits forever. The fact of the matter is if things don't change 'The Guvnor' will be looking for graft elsewhere in the New Year. Home win for Bilton.
Betting: Portsmouth to beat Blackburn at 11/10 (Blue Square).

Tottenham v Everton
Roman Pavlyuchenko, my all-time favourite Russian piss head after Rasputin and Boris Yeltsin, seems to have finally adjusted to life in the Premiership and after four goals in his last four games at White Hart Lane I reckon he's worth following to do the bizzo again against Everton.
Betting: Pavlyuchenko to score first at 6/1 (Hills).

Chelsea v Arsenal
While the Gunners can seemingly do no wrong in Europe they are shambling around the Premiership and I expect every man and his dog to be on Chelsea this weekend. The Blues are 10 points clear of their London rivals, who are in crisis if you believe all you read in the red tops.

William Gallas is currently about as popular as a drunk with a flick knife rounds certain parts of North London and given the fact the Gunners also have key men missing then the 8/11 about a home win looks mortgage material. Doesn't it? I'm not convinced. In 15 fixtures since 2003 there has only between more than one goal separating these two on one occasion. Arsenal always seem to raise their level for the big games and so for this reason I'm backing them with a goal start on the Handicap.
Betting: Arsenal (+1) to beat Chelsea at 21/20 (Blue Square).

Degsy Bilton