Gareth Bale to United for less than Real paid (really), Spurs in for Berahino, Arsenal want Kramer and Schneiderlin...
LIVERPOOL, ARSENAL AND UNITED WANT COENTRAO
It's another offering to the Gods of SEO by the Daily Express, with their direct source right in the heart of Spanish football. We imagine that man to be Julio Geordio.
'Liverpool and Arsenal join Man Utd in race for £25m Fabio Coentrao,' is their headline. The suggestion that Arsenal will spend £25m on a new left-back in January is pretty absurd, but there you go. Thoughts of Manchester United doing the same isn't much better.
Coentrao is at least likely to leave Real Madrid in the near future, having made just one La Liga start this season.
However, the Daily Express rather give the game away by suggesting that AC Milan and Besiktas are both also interested. That indicates a) the level of club that will sign Coentrao and b) that he won't be moving for £25m.
ARSENAL FAVOURITES FOR FEKIR
So Arsenal need a defensive midfielder, then? Well, we can't promise you anything of the sort, but Lyon's attacking midfielder Nabil Fekir certainly looks as if he could be arriving in England in the near future.
Le Parisien took quotes from Fekir's father (now taken up by the English papers) in which he claims that a move to Arsenal would suit his son down to the ground.
"Nabil would like to finish first or second and play Champions League football with Lyon," Mohamed Fekir told Le Parisien.
"If he leaves, it will be for Arsenal. It is the only club that can enable him to progress, with Arsène Wenger. He will not go to Manchester City to sit on the bench."
With Mesut Ozil, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, Aaron Ramsey, Santi Cazorla, Alexis Sanchez, Jack Wilshere, Olivier Giroud, Danny Welbeck, Theo Walcott, Serge Gnabry, Lukas Podolski, Joel Campbell and Yaya Sanogo, we can't see a regular place in Arsenal's front five being a problem either.
BUSQUETS TO ENGLAND?
Want to come play our new festive game? It's called the random transfer generator.
'Why is it festive?', we hear you ask. Shush, you're ruining the game.
Here are the rules:
1) Pick a newspaper: Daily Express
2) Pick a foreign club: Barcelona
3) Pick a player: Sergio Busquets
4) Pick some Premier League clubs: Arsenal, Manchester United and Chelsea
5) Pick some other clubs for effect: PSG and Bayern Munich
6) Pick three spurious 'reasons': 'According to reports in Germany', 'Busquets is keeping his eye open' and 'could be tempted by a switch to the Premier League'.
Don't pretend we haven't had fun.
AND THE REST
Rolando Aarons' contract talks at Newcastle have broken down - putting Manchester City on red alert...Hull manager Steve Bruce is considering recalling Tom Ince from his loan spell at Championship club Nottingham Forest...QPR manager Harry Redknapp is trying to sign free agent Lassana Diarra...Chelsea are keeping tabs on Brazilian starlet Malcom...West Ham are on the verge of signing Canadian defender Doneli Henry...Slovenian Gregor Balazic is on the radar of Crystal Palace...Steve Bruce will offload Paul McShane next month...Aston Villa face a battle to keep Aly Cissokho.
1) According to The Echo 2) Real Madrid could be looking to offload 3) Gareth Bale. 4) Ipswich (don't ruin it) are front runners, although Wrexham and Porthmadog are monitoring the situation. 6) His dad is quoted as sayin "Gareth misses his hamsters in Spain". Hats off, that was fun.- hump3.